I'm With You
by Kyoko Sanura
Summary: Who else did Buffy dream of in BotN besides Joyce? A series of vignettes, set in a fantastical dream-world, answers that question. B/S
1. Piece 1

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Disclaimer: I don't own any of these wonderful characters, and am just borrowing them temporarily. This little story was born out of five days straight home by myself, a little bit of chocolate, and a few hours of listening to Faure's Piano Quartets, so please don't sue me.

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A/N: Okay, here's a new fic for you to chew on. It's a series of vignettes about a dream that Buffy had during BotN. Kind of a reflection on Buffy and Spike's relationship. Kind of inspired by Avril Lavigne's 'I'm With You.' Yes, I am aware the first vignette is kind of short, but I promise the others will be longer. I will be posting about every other day, because these are pretty short and fun to write.

Buffy was patrolling. It was, after all, her job. She was the One Girl in all the world chosen to fight vampires, demons, and whatever else the Hellmouth could throw her way. She was deadly, with the precision of a natural predator, and the strength and speed of those she hunted. So why was she so darn tired? 

Buffy spotted movement in the graveyard she had chosen that night to patrol, and gripped her stake tightly. A newly risen vamp came strolling her way, vampire visage out for all to see, and dirt from his grave site clinging to his brown hair. Buffy felt mildly sorry for him, having had her own grave-digging experiences. He ignored her as he walked by with a stupid expression on his face and Buffy's sympathy disappeared. Hey, Buffy thought, insulted, you don't get to ignore me! She delivered a blow to his side and the vamp grunted in pain. "Slayer," he finally noticed. She high-kicked his head, then rushed forward and staked him neatly with a freshly whittled stake. The vamp clutched his chest in agony. He looked Buffy in the eyes and choked out, "Why?"

Why? Buffy thought, that was a new one. She shrugged, picked up her stake, and continued patrolling. She put her hands behind her back and idly wondered why it was so quiet tonight. Suddenly, cold hands grabbed hers and pulled her around. Buffy almost kicked free when she realized it was Spike. "You need to wake up, Buffy," he said, and it almost sounded as though Dawn were speaking rather than him. "Wake up!" This time Buffy was sure Dawn had said it. She turned her head, but Dawn wasn't there. 

"You're dreaming, love," Spike said softly, his eyes watching Buffy intently. He now sounded like himself. "Am I?" she asked. "I must be if you're here. Has the First done anything to you?" she asked fearfully. "Doesn't matter," Spike said, "You won't be able to find me." "We've got to find you soon," Buffy said. "I've been fighting for you," he said with a sudden passion. "You're the reason I can go on. You believe in me, and that's all that matters, Buffy," The hope in his eyes almost hurt the Slayer. He had absolute faith in her, and she could only hope she wouldn't let him down. "I do believe in you," Buffy said, "and maybe I've been fighting for you, too." He was awed. "In this place, you can speak only knowledge and truth," Spike said, "So what you say must be the truth....I'm waking up, so I have to leave. I love you, Buffy." With that, he disappeared in a golden mist. 

Buffy went on patrolling, head still spinning from her conversation with Spike. She walked along, looking down at the ground, lost in thought. He loves me, Buffy thought. She knew it in her subconscious, but whenever he said it, the words made her feel happy, but mostly confused. Why, she thought, does he love me? I used to say that he was just fooling himself, that he couldn't sort out what was real from what wasn't, but now I don't know what to think. Everything was so confusing now. And am I really fighting for Spike? It was an odd thought, but ultimately Spike had drawn strength from it, and it nourished her as well. 

Buffy looked up from her contemplations when she heard a rustle in the bushes. The sound made her feel vaguely uneasy. She crept closer and stuck her hand into the vegetation, where it found what felt like a head of hair. Buffy jumped in surprise, and delivered a sharp kick to whatever was inside. The thing that rolled out was black and had just enough time to jump out of the way when Buffy launched a punch. Then she realized it was Angel. "Buffy," he said, obviously thrown. "This is really not how I planned to meet you."

~TBC~


	2. Piece 2

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A/N: New ficlet up, will have the next one late tonight or early tomorrow. At the end of this one there's an idea that I've been toying with for a while and decided to put it in. Enjoy, and if you want, review!

"Angel?" Buffy tried to ask, but her voice wasn't there. Strange, she thought, and tried again. No sound came out and her lips wouldn't even move. "You can only talk to Spike," Angel said smoothly, "but don't worry. I'll stake him and you can talk to everyone again." Buffy felt uneasy when he said this, but then thought, Angel can't stake Spike because Angel's asleep and Spike is awake, and they are far apart in the awake-world. She shrugged it off and wondered what Angel meant about her only being able to talk to Spike. _You can only speak knowledge or truth in this place._ Spike's words came back to her. It must be true, but why? Buffy mused. 

Angel drew in an unneeded breath and began to talk, drawing Buffy from her musings. "I think I've fallen in love with Cordelia. But I've begun to miss you since she slept with my son Connor," he stated. You have a son? Buffy thought incredulously. And he's old enough to sleep with Cordelia? She listened as Angel rambled on. "Look, it's like this, Buffy. Everyone is in love with someone but you. Anya is in love with Xander, but is beginning to notice Giles. Xander is still in love with Anya, but is getting a crush on you again. Giles is thinking of Anya, and even Dawn has a crush on a boy at school. Spike, as always, is in love with you." Angel was finished for the time being, and Buffy thought about it for a minute. How does he even know who all these people are? she wondered. I didn't tell him that much during our little meeting last year, did I? "What about you, Buffy?" Angel asked her, rhetorically, of course, since she couldn't talk to him. "Who do you love? Who do you think about when a huge, life-threatening demon is hanging over you? Who would you risk everything to save? Who do you lie awake at night thinking about?" 

Spike, Buffy thought, in answer to Angel's questions. I don't _love_ him, though. Do I? She bent down and picked up a leaf and a stick, which conviently turned into a piece of paper and a pencil. On this she wrote out for Angel what she had been thinking. _Spike, _she wrote, _but I don't think I like him that way. I've tried it that way, and it just ended in heartache for both of us. I'm trying to save him beacuse whatever the First is doing to him isn't right._

Angel looked at her slyly. "Then why did you tell him you fight for him?" _Why do you care?_ Buffy wrote, _I thought you hated him, anyway._ "I'm not Angel," he said, looking her in the eye. Dumbfounded, Buffy scrawled, _Who are you, then?_ "Who do you want me to be?" he asked her. _Angel_, Buffy wrote plaintively. "Sorry," the thing with Angel's body said. "I'm not. Mostly." What does _that_ mean? she thought irritably. If she'd had a voice, she would have shrieked as whatever had been pretending to be Angel shattered into glass. The pieces rose into the air before they hit the ground and reassembled themselves into a large white bird. The magnificent animal flew gracefully away, leaving Buffy alone. 

Just as Buffy was recovering her wits from seeing someone shatter into glass, the large puddle beside her rippled and trembled. Oh no, Buffy thought, What now? It burst up like a morning glory into a humanoid shape. The living water fell back into the little pool from which it came, revealing a man clothed in a glowing white robe. Though his image was blurry around the edges, his curly dark hair and blue eyes told Buffy he was Spike, or at least Spike from a long ago time. "William?" Buffy said, in awe like a small child. "Hello, Buffy," he said warmly, his upper class English accent ringing out like a bell in the deserted graveyard. 

William seemed to radiate from an inner light, and combined with his happy smile, he was surely one of the most beautiful creatures Buffy had ever seen. "Are you an angel?" she asked stupidly. "Yes," he said solumnly, "You were too." He laughed, and the sound made Buffy want to laugh along. His eyes were lit with a happy sparkle, and the color in his cheeks seemed so foreign to her, but it was obviously William. "I don't know if you remember, but I met you, while you were in Heaven. I always wanted to see you again after you left," he said. "No wonder I enjoyed it," Buffy said, a tad breathless. "I know why Spike's in love with you," William said, and leaned down to kiss her cheek. She smiled and flushed, delighted by how warm, full of life, and beautiful he was. Everything about him made her want to smile. Buffy had never met a real angel before, but it made her head spin to think she had been with him in Heaven. 

After a few minutes of idle talk, (Buffy wasn't quite sure what she said, and then decided it was best she didn't know) she managed to ask a sensible question. "Why aren't you in Heaven now?" she asked. "I am bound to Spike now," William explained. "We are one, soul and body, like it always should have been." Something about that statement put a damper on Buffy's happiness and made her feel as though she were onto a train of thought. "You're Spike's soul," she said, trying to sort it out. "Yes," he said, subdued. "You could say that." "You were in Heaven, and Spike went to get the soul for me......if it hadn't been for me he wouldn't have gotten the soul......." Buffy said slowly, a horrible realization dawning. "I pulled you out of Heaven!"

~TBC~ 


	3. Piece 3

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A/N: Okay, people, I am up and happy and ready to put up a new vignette. I'm sorry I didn't update last night. Before I could finish, okay, well, even start, I went to my own little dream-world, and unfortunately, mine does not make as much sense as Buffy's does. I may be able to get 2 up today because I'm feeling energetic after I got an e-mail from Haley Teague. God, people around here are so nice! I've reviewed fics and on more than one occasion I've gotten an extremely lovely e-mail back. I will stop rambling now. 

Buffy burst into tears and clutched to William for support. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry. It was my fault. I pulled someone out of heaven......." Buffy whispered. She couldn't remember feeling more guilty about something, especially now that she knew what it was like. William bent down and looked into her eyes. He said calmly, "It was Spike's choice, pet, not yours." "But he got it for me," Buffy cried, "If it hadn't been for me he wouldn't have gotten it-you! I as good as pulled you out myself," she added miserably. "After you left," William said seriously, "I couldn't help but missing you. And now you're here, and you're feeling guilty over what Spike did, not you, love, _Spike_." He wiped her tears away. "Sorry," Buffy said quietly, "Little emotional." William raised his right eyebrow, then smiled. "It's natural in this dimension. For you, it would seem like being on-on, er, pre-menstrua-" he flushed a bright red and bit his lip. Buffy smiled. "I know what you mean." William sighed in relief, grateful not to have to finish his sentence. 

"Are you sure you're not mad at me?" Buffy asked timidly a few moments later. "Of course not," William said. "It's just," Buffy said, looking down at the ground, "I know what it's like to be pulled out of Heaven." "I know you do," he said quietly, "But it's really nothing to cry over, especially since you didn't do anything." With a smile, William told Buffy, "You know, they say that when a Slayer cries, the Earth cries with her." Buffy chuckled a bit at that. "Somehow I doubt that." "I know for a fact that when you cry, Spike does," William said, so quietly Buffy had to strain to hear. 

Buffy thought about that. "I'll bet he does," she whispered. The conversation seemed to be getting quieter and quieter as it went on. "Sometimes I feel bad for how I treated Spike," Buffy admitted to William. "Did he not get you back?" he asked her. "He did, but now he's paying for it." "Are you paying for it, too?" William asked rhetorically, in a gentle tone. Buffy didn't know how she would answer that question. She'd understood that she'd done wrong, but had never thought about paying for it. William seemed to understand what she was thinking. He took her hand, and Buffy was surprised by how warm it was, as opposed to Spike's walking-undead coldness. "I have to show you something, Buffy." 

An old-fashioned carved wooden door appeared in the air in front of them at William's words, and opened to reveal a patch of beautiful scenery. At the bottom of the portal door was a patch of tall yellow grass backed by an azure sky with lazy clouds drifting across the gentle late afternoon sun. "It looks beautiful," Buffy murmured. "I'll take you there," William said, and together they stepped inside. 

As soon as they both stepped inside the little world, the portal door closed behind them, and Buffy got a full view of the place. She and William stood on the side of a hill surrounded by yellow and red trees that were ripe with autumn. At the top of the hill was a lovely quaint house, the color of periwinkle, and done in the style of the Victorian Era. It had a white painted porch that overlooked the hill. Buffy's eyes drifted to the base of the hill, where a fancy black carraige rested on a circular cobblestone drive. A dirt path led off to the east from the pathway to a small wooden building that Buffy assumed was a stable for the horses.

"This is your home," Buffy realized. "No one's here. It's a copy of it that I took with me to Heaven," William said, obviously happy to be there. "This place is what Spike fought for before he fell in love with you," he said. "Of course, he was fighting for evil then, but you understand my point." Buffy nodded, then thought of something. "What was your family like?" she asked curious. "It's rather a confusing story. I was born in 1861to my mum and my father and two years later, he died, leaving my mum, who was pregnant with my sister Charlotte, alone. I met him in Heaven, and he's a very nice man, but while I was alive I had no recollections of him. Then a man who was decidedly richer than we were, named Robert Burnett, fell in love with my mother while married to a woman named Caroline. She had given him a four-year-old named Charles, but he left her for my mum. About six months later, Robert and Mother married, and moved me and the newborn Charlotte into this house you see here. In those days it was a bit of a scandal, because Robert left Caroline with nothing," William added in a morose sort of way. 

"Did you like Robert and Charles?" Buffy asked softly. "Charles was a bit of a bully, and not only to me, but I learned to stay out of his way. He was never a nice person, but he did grow out of the bullying," William said slowly. "And Robert?" Buffy pushed. "He was a pretty good man, blind as a bat to his son's behavior, a jolly old soul," he said. "But," Buffy said. "Oh, yes," William said unhappily, "Robert was very nice. Unless you gave him alcohol." The pair sat in silence for a moment. Buffy was unsure of what to say, as, Buffy thought, was William. "Do want to see my room?" William asked, in an effort to break the tension. Buffy smiled gratefully. "I would love to." 

~TBC~


End file.
